


Fifty-Five Oh Five

by bicroft



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Retirement
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-09
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-01-15 09:18:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12318132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bicroft/pseuds/bicroft
Summary: Kissing Sid for the first time was just as amazing as Zhenya had always thought it would be- more so, even. The only thing that put a damper on it, really, was that their first kiss was a kiss goodbye.(Geno retires, Sid doesn't.)





	1. Zero

**Author's Note:**

> I had the thought for the opening lines of this fic last night when I was working on my last word prompt fic, and it couldn't NOT be written. 
> 
> Big thanks to CloudCover to talking parts of the story yet to come out with me, and the rest of the gang for encouraging me when I dropped those first few lines in the chat, and listening to me babble about whatever WIPs I have until they're done; y'all are, truly, the best cheerleaders.

 

Kissing Sid for the first time was just as amazing as Zhenya had always thought it would be- more so, even. The only thing that put a damper on it, really, was that their first kiss was a kiss goodbye, for good.

It had been a turbulent couple of weeks, after the season ended. It hadn’t ended on the highest of notes- a second round playoff exist- and he’d had to fight the urge to chase more, just one more title. He’d said it was his last season, and it _had_ to be; he’d rather go out on a relative high like the season he’d just had, where he’d put up good numbers and gotten far, than push himself for another season and maybe fall, or worse, get himself hurt. Zhenya wasn’t old, but he was getting older, and he’d like to be able to actually _enjoy_ his retirement.

Now, sitting in the airport parking lot and staring Sid in the eye as they pulled away, he was fighting the urge to change his mind all over again. “Bad timing, Sid,” he said, voice shakier than he wanted it to be. He’d _promised_ himself he wasn’t going to cry, dammit- definitely a lost cause, now.

“I know,” Sid said, sounding close to tears himself, and that made Zhenya feel _worse._ Contrary to what most of the population of the Philadelphia would believe, Sid _never_ cried. Zhenya had seen it once, after Duper left, and then never again in the close to two decades he’d known Sid. “I know. It shouldn’t have taken me this long to work up the courage, I’m-”

“Don’t say sorry,” Zhenya said, reaching out and taking Sid’s hand. “I never do anything, either; if it’s anyone’s fault, is both of ours.”

“I am sorry, though,” Sid said, dropping his head onto Zhenya’s shoulder. It probably wasn’t comfortable, leaning across the console like that, but Zhenya wasn’t about to comment on it, lest Sid pull away entirely. “I just- god. I’m going to _miss_ you, Geno. I’m going to miss you so much.”

“I’m going to miss you, too,” Zhenya said, wrapping his arms around Sid’s shoulders best he could and dropping a kiss to the top of his head, because he could, now, and he might never be able to again. “Going to miss you so much, Sid, more than anything in world.”

“Don’t make me cry, G.” Sid laughed, but it sounded wet, even muffled in Zhenya’s shoulder. He was gripping Zhenya’s shirt so tightly that if Zhenya moved back too suddenly, he’d rip it- not that Zhenya wanted to move away anytime soon.

“I’m trying not to make _me_ cry,” Zhenya huffed, closing his eyes and counting backwards from ten. He could keep it together- he _would_ keep it together. “Easier to say than do.”

“You’re still gonna… call and shit, right?” Sid asked, and then laughed again. “God, that sounded so fucking needy.”

“Not needy,” Zhenya said, opening his eyes again to frown at Sid. “Not going to get rid of me so easy, Sid; I’m call, text so much it be like I’m not even gone.”

“But, you _will_ be gone,” Sid said, and even if he probably didn’t mean then to, the words made Zhenya’s chest constrict painfully. “ _Shit_ , Geno- I haven’t played without you since I was eighteen.”

“Not true,” Zhenya said. “Play without me all the time; when I got hurt, World Cup, Olympics.”

“Those were all _temporary,_ though,” Sid said, pulling back. His eyes were wet, but he wasn’t crying, and he was doing a remarkably good job at keeping his voice in check- better than Zhenya, anyway. “Now, it’s- you’re not coming back, this time.”  

“Still have team, Sid,” Zhenya said. “Not like everyone leave.”

“ _You’re_ leaving, though,” Sid said. “I love the team, G, but none of them are you, just like none of them were Flower, or Tanger, or Duper. It’s… I know it’s not just me, on the team, but. It’s just me _left_.”

“I’m sorry,” Zhenya said, because it was all he _could_ say without letting himself change his mind. As much as he adored Sid- would do _anything_ for Sid, if he was honest- he couldn’t stay. He’d already turned down a contract renewal, sold his house, packed up his things; it was his time to go, and he had to. “Might be leaving, Sid, but you’re not losing me, okay? Don’t think of it like that, yes?”

“You’re right,” Sid said, closing his eyes. When he opened them, they were clearer than before, and he had a look of grim determination on his face for a moment before it turned into a smile- not a genuine one, but the kind that Zhenya had learned over the years meant that he was holding something back, but didn’t want to cause a scene. “You’re gonna miss your flight if you keep sitting here, Geno.”

“Still have a few minutes,” Zhenya said, looking around outside quickly before pulling Sid into another kiss. This one was longer than the first, and it felt like they were both trying to memorize the feeling. Eventually, though, they did have to pull away, and Zhenya really _did_ have to get going before he missed his flight. He didn’t think his resolve could last another day, if he knew what he had here.

“Call when you can,” Sid said, wrapping his arms around Zhenya’s neck for a last hug.

“I’m text when I land, call when I get settled,” Zhenya promised.

Sid’s smile turned genuine for a moment before it started to wobble, and he put his media smile back in place. “You’d better,” he said. He offered his hand for a fist bump, and Zhenya smiled, going through the motions of their handshake one last time, bumping their foreheads together and clapping Sid on the back. That got a laugh out of Sid, and it made him feel inordinately proud, the tightness in his chest releasing just a bit. If Sid could laugh, things were okay, would be okay.

“I tell you, not get rid of me so easy,” he huffed, pulling away after pressing a kiss to Sid’s forehead and opening his door. “Talk soon, Sid.”

“Bye, Geno,” Sid said.

It was hard, getting out of the car, and even though it was spring and reasonably warm, Zhenya felt cold as he grabbed his bag and headed into the airport. He was able to go through the motions of checking his bags and getting through security. He’d done this a million times before, flying home for the summer. The finality of all of it this time, though, felt heavy, and he couldn’t make himself look down and back as they took off an hour later. He was going home, yes; Russia was always home, even when he’d run from it. But, he was _leaving_ home, too, and it hadn’t fully hit him until just now.

When he opened his eyes again, it was almost worse, because the little television on the back of the chair in front of him was tracking their flight. He could see them putting miles behind them, the miles counting down in front of his eyes. He closed his eyes once more; it was a long fight home, and if he just sat there and thought about everything, he was just going to make himself sicker than he was.

If he focused hard enough, and imagined a bit, he could still see the ghost of Sid, so he focused on him instead. Sid had _kissed_ him; it’d taken years and years of waiting, and pining, and hoping, but Sid had _kissed_ him- that had to mean something, for the future, didn’t it?

Only time would tell, he supposed. He could only hope that, as the distance between them grew, his chance on getting something more than a handful of kisses and a veiled confession didn’t diminish. He itched to call Sid, now, and ask, but there wasn’t really much of a chance of it until he got home, and his phone actually started working again. Until then, he could only hope.

Despite the odds, Zhenya opened his eyes, and smiled. If there was anything he was good at, it was hoping.


	2. Forty-Eight Sixty-Four

Zhenya didn’t actually get to call Sid for a few days, once he landed; first, it was jet lag, and then it was getting settled in again, and then it was having family and friends over- and _then_ , finally, Zhenya was alone and out of excuses.

Not that he didn’t _want_ to talk to Sid- he did, badly. They’d texted, a little, mostly just letting each other know their respective flights had gotten in and they were settled. Sid had gone back to Cole Harbour a few days after Zhenya went home, and from the few pleasantries they’d shared, he seemed to be doing well. Zhenya knew, though, that Sid took knock-outs just as hard as he did, if not harder, and was probably already training up for next season. It felt odd for Zhenya not to be doing the same. He still planned on working out and skating, because he loved being on the ice and being in shape, but, when he was talking about his summer routine with is trainer, it felt almost _wrong_ with how low-intensity it seemed.

He waited until it was late, on his end, and he was sure Sid was free. Even then, his heart caught in his throat for the three rings it took Sid to pick up. Maybe he’d changed his mind, and was happy to have Zhenya gone? Maybe he’d missed his window for real this time.

 “Hello?” Sid said, finally, sounding just as nervous as Zhenya felt, and- it was fucking _silly_. They’d known each other for years; one phone call shouldn’t be such a fucking hardship.

“Hey, Sid,” he said, forcing himself to relax, flopping down onto his couch. “Sorry, meaning to call sooner, but- things came up.”

“I understand,” Sid said. There was something tight in his voice, like he was holding back something, and it made Zhenya’s chest ache at the same time it got on his nerves. “How are your parents?”

“They good, said to tell you hi,” Zhenya said, leaning his head back and staring at the ceiling. He couldn’t force Sid to relax. He’d known him long enough to know that trying to pull Sid towards letting go would only make him seize up more, but, it was still frustrating to listen to. He could, however, nudge a little bit on his own end. “Miss you already,” he said, his voice soft, and a little wistful.

Sid sighed, and there was a second’s silence before he responded. “I miss you too,” he said, and his voice was soft, too. It made Zhenya’s breath catch in his throat, and he smiled, a little, eyes falling shut as.

“Feels like normal summer,” he said, laughing. “Keep forgetting isn’t temporary.”

“There’s still time to change your mind, you know,” Sid said. He sounded as close to Sid’s pride would ever let him get to begging. It hurt Zhenya to hear it.

He sighed. “Really can’t, Sid, and you know that.”

Sid sighed. “I know,” he said. “I know, I just- I can dream, yeah?”

“I’m sorry,” Zhenya said. “Was just… was time, Sid.”

“I know,” Sid said again. “I know. It’s- it’s probably time for me, too, but…”

“You never quit,” Zhenya said. “Be like Jagr, play until you’re just skeleton in skates.”

“I wish,” Sid said, laughing a little. It sounded hollow. “I’m probably… I don’t know what I’m going to do, but. I’ve got a year to decide, I guess.”

“A year’s a long time,” Zhenya said, opening his eyes again. “Lots to think about, Sid; don’t have to make decision over the summer. Just relax little bit.”

“You know I never relax,” Sid said, but there was humor in his voice, so Zhenya just laughed. “I’m might do the camp a little earlier this year, since I’ve got the chance.”

“Good- tell me all about it, when you do,” Zhenya said. “Always love hearing about kids- tell Taylor I say hi, too.”

“I will,” Sid said. “She’s been asking how you are.”

“She’s my favorite Crosby,” Zhenya said.

Sid made an affronted noise. “Bull _shit_ ,” he said. “You haven’t kissed my sister, G.”

“Weird, Sid,” Zhenya snorted. “But, you right; you’re only one I kiss.”

“I regretted it as soon as I said it,” Sid said, and Zhenya could hear him wrinkling his nose. “But, you proved my point: I’m your favorite.”

“You’re my favorite,” Zhenya admitted. “Don’t tell Taylor, though.”

“I’m _absolutely_ telling Taylor,” Sid said, laughing again. “I’m telling everybody.”

“Not like there anybody who don’t know already,” Zhenya said. “Always talk about how great you are, how much I like you.”

“It’s still nice to know,” Sid said. “Worth bragging about.”

“Brag so much, Sid,” Zhenya teased. “People start to think you get an ego.”

Sid laughed, loud and braying, and the warmth in Zhenya’s chest grew even more. “Hate to tell you, G, but you’re a little late on that one.”

“You know me, Sid,” Zhenya said. “Late to everything.”

Zhenya heard Sid’s breath hitch, and they were both silent for a moment before Sid exhaled heavily. “You weren’t late last time,” he said.

It took Zhenya a second to realize what he was talking about and this time, _his_ breath hitched. “Was a little late, Sid,” he said. “Wasn’t even going to do anything, before I left.”

“We did do something, though,” Sid said. “And that’s the part that matters.”

“Guess so,” Zhenya said. “Still- if I had done something sooner-”

“It would’ve hurt more, when you left,” Sid said, cutting him off. “I’ve thought about it, G, believe me. It’s… not better, this way, but, at least we didn’t really know what we were missing.”

“Not until it was too late, no,” Zhenya snorted.

Sid was silent for another few moments before he responded. “I mean,” he said eventually, voice slow and hopeful. “Is it too late, really?”

Zhenya blinked. His heart was suddenly beating a mile a minute. “I don’t want it to be,” he said, voice shaking a little.

Sid sighed, sounding relieved. “I don’t want it to be, either,” he said. “I don’t- I don’t know how this is gonna work, Geno, but… god. I waited too long to let you go, now.”

“Don’t have to,” Zhenya said quickly. “Didn’t let go of anything. Is just… like summer, yes?”

“If summer lasted forever,” Sid said.

“Not _forever_ ,” Zhenya countered. “I’m still visit, Sid; still come see you play, this year, maybe.”

“So, just summer until you come and stay for a week, and then summer again when you leave,” Sid said, huffing, a little humor to his tone.

“Exactly,” Zhenya said. He was trying to spin it as a positive, because if he didn’t, he was going to start feeling terrible again. “That way, you never get sick of me.”

“I didn’t get sick of you for the decade and a half I’ve known you already, G,” Sid pointed out, but he at least sounded happier. “I don’t think ‘distance makes the heart grow fonder’ is our issue here.”

“No.” Zhenya sighed, leaning his head back and staring at the ceiling. “Is… we can just… see? Try.”

“We’ve both dealt with long distance relationships before,” Sid said. He sounded exactly like he did when he was planning a play, determined and thoughtful. “We can do it- I mean, if you--”

“ _Sid_ ,” Zhenya said, exasperated. “Don’t ask me if I want, or I’m fly back and hit you upside the head.”

“See, now you’re baiting me,” Sid said. “Really, though. Only if you want.”

“Hate myself for wait all this time to make it happen already,” Zhenya said, laughing a little. “Hate myself even more if I wait even longer. Yes, Sid, I want.”

“Good.” Sid sounded like he’d been holding his breath, and had only just now released it. “Good, then we’ll—we’re doing this.”

“Sound so happy about it.” Zhenya snorted.

“I’m happy!” Sid said, though he sounded more defensive than anything. “I’m just… also having a hard time believing this is happening.”

“Is happening,” Zhenya assured him. “If it isn’t happening, I’m be very upset.”

“And we all know how pouty you get when you’re upset,” Sid said. Zhenya made an indignant noise, but Sid laughed, so he was willing to let it go.

“You’re just going to have to keep me always happy, then,” he declared.

“That’s the plan,” Sid said, and he sounded so fond- so _affectionate,_ Zhenya thought his heart was going to burst.

“I’ll do same for you,” he said.

“You won’t have to try that hard,” Sid said. “You’ve done a pretty good job for the last decade or so.”

Zhenya groaned at the reminder that it’d been a _decade_ , god. “We so old, Sid.”

“Speak for yourself,” Sid said, scoffing and feigning offense. “ _You’re_ old.”

“You’re only a year behind!” Zhenya said.

Sid hummed. “Exactly. Which means you’ll always be the old one.”

“So mean to me already, Sid,” Zhenya lamented.

“I wouldn’t be doing my job if I wasn’t,” Sid said, laughing a little again. Zhenya wasn’t sure his heart had ever been fuller.

There was a long silence, and it felt companionable until Sid sighed, and Zhenya’s heart dropped. “You okay?”

“Fine,” Sid said, sounding a little confused as to why Zhenya was worried. “I just remembered I have another interview in like an hour- I’m sorry, G, I’ve got to go.”

“Better to not make Jen angry at you,” Zhenya agreed, even though it took a second of fighting to wrangle the part of him that wanted to whine at Sid to stay on the line.

“Believe me, if I didn’t, I’d probably be racking up a bill for a twenty-four-hour international call.” Sid laughed a little again, but there wasn’t much humor to it.

“You’re know how Skype work, Sid,” Zhenya said, rolling his eyes and smiling a little to himself despite everything. “Or FaceTime- both free.”

“I wouldn’t _mind_ the bill,” Sid said, but after a thoughtful pause, he added: “I wouldn’t mind seeing your face either.”

“Is a very good face,” Zhenya said.

“I’ll call you- tomorrow, for you, I guess?” Sid said, and Zhenya frowned.

“Tomorrow is long ways off,” he said, a little bit of whine to his voice.

“And it’s the middle of the night for you already, G- I know how time zones work.” Sid was using his captain voice, and it rubbed Zhenya the wrong way a little because Sid wasn’t _really_ his captain anymore- but, it was also sweet, knowing Sid cared. “Text me when you wake up, tomorrow, yeah? We’ll talk then.”

“It be very early for you, then,” Zhenya pointed out.

“I don’t mind early,” Sid said. Zhenya could hear the shrug in his voice. “Besides, I know how late you sleep in when there’s no one keeping you in check, so I doubt that’ll be true.”

“ _Mean_ ,” Zhenya whined, just to get Sid to laugh one more time. He was going to have to save all these moments; he’d taken a lot of them for granted, when he was still in Pittsburgh. He felt foolish for it, but then again, it was never at the forefront of his mind that he would get to keep having them- or even that there was going to be an end of getting to see Sid smile every day.

“Go to sleep, Geno,” Sid said, sounding impossibly fond again. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

And he _would_. Zhenya grinned; he was going to see Sid again. “See you in the morning, Sid.”

Neither of them seemed to want to hang up first, though, and there were a few quiet moments of breathing before they both broke out in nervous laughter. “Count of three?” Sid suggested.  
  
“One,” Zhenya said.

“Two.”

As Zhenya breathed “three”, the line went dead, and he was left holding his phone to his ear and grinning like a fool into the emptiness of his living room, even though his heart immediately started aching for lack of Sid’s voice. At least he knew Sid was right about one thing, though; if they’d started this while he’d still been in Pittsburgh, this would have been a million times worse.

It was almost impossible for him to actually close his eyes and sleep. In the end, it took a sort of bastardized take on meditation; breathe in. He was going to get to see Sid in the morning. Out. He was going to see Sid. In, Sid, out, Sid—it was probably a little sad, but, there was no one there to judge him, so, it didn’t matter.

In, Sid. Out, Sid.

This was absolutely going to break him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has read this so far an enjoyed it!! I've already broken my goal to write more, but. Such is college. 
> 
> If you liked this chapter, please consider [reblogging it on tumblr](http://sidsknee.tumblr.com/post/167340557689/read-it-here-on-ao3-chapter) and/or dropping a comment!!


	3. Forty-One Forty-Three

Sid was the _worst_ at Skyping, Zhenya learned.

Not that he missed calls, because Sid _always_ called when he said he would, but depending on whether or not he was on his laptop of his phone, Zhenya would either get just the top half of Sid’s face, or all of it, but at different weird angles as Sid kept trying to find a good position on his couch. He didn’t _really_ mind, though, because even if he was only seeing parts or unflattering angles, he was still seeing Sid, and that was what mattered.

Their calls were usually short, a half an hour, or a full one if they caught each other at the right time before one of them had to go out and do something for the press- because of fucking _course_ Zhenya still had press obligations after he fucking _retired_ \- but, on the days when neither of them had anything going on, they lasted _hours_ , and those were the days Zhenya looked forward to the most.  

They were in hour four when Sid was fully upside down, laptop on the floor and pointed up as he leaned across the back of his couch, legs kicking in the air as he talked about his plans to go see Flower while they were both back in Canada, and it was absolutely adorable, but it was also more than a little distracting. “- And I was thinking… G?”

Zhenya blinked, refocusing his gaze on Sid’s face. “Yeah?”

“Is it getting too late for you?” Sid asked. “You look kind of out of it.”

“Just looking at you, sorry,” Zhenya said, shrugging. “Thinking you look cute.”

Sid went to still, Zhenya thought that maybe the screen had frozen. “Sid?” He clicked around a little bit. “Still there?”

“Uh,” Sid said, and he still wasn’t moving, but now he was turning bright red, so Zhenya knew that it wasn’t just a wonky connection. “I- yeah, I’m still there.”

Zhenya frowned. “You okay?”

“I’m fine!” Sid said, and he flipped back upright so quickly Zhenya almost jumped. “I just- wasn’t expecting that.”

“Compliment?” Zhenya frowned even more, and felt his stomach drop. “Is- not okay?” He knew they hadn’t really talked about the- well, Zhenya would say ‘the shift in their relationship’, but it had barely seemed like there had been one at all, with the way they talked.

“Sometimes I forget we’re… sort of dating?” Sid said, and the immediately after, “That sounds shitty of me. I mean- a little because we never- we never _said_ dating, we just said we were trying _something_ , and I have no fucking clue what something is.”

“Never said a lot,” Zhenya said, and he tried not to sound too frustrated. He liked to think he was pretty in touch with his emotions, but there was only so much of it he could take, especially when there was already so much in his life he needed to work around. “Is fine, Sid. You’re not want me call you cute, I’m not.”

“It isn’t that,” Sid said quickly. “I- I don’t _not_ want you to call me cute and shit, I just… I need to get used to it, yeah? It’s a jump that I never thought I was going to get to make, and I just… it takes awhile for me to process stuff like that.”

“Just compliment, Sid,” Zhenya said. “Not big deal. People are call you nice things all the time.”

“Everyone isn’t you,” Sid countered. “ _Everyone_ isn’t my best friend, Geno, it’s- a shift, yeah? It’s change, and you know how I am with change.” The last part sounded a little self-deprecating, like Sid was trying to make it into a joke, but Zhenya couldn’t really make himself take it right now.

“Everything’s change, big change,” he said, he probably sounded a little bit like an ass, but, he couldn’t help it. “ _Know_ it’s big change, Sid; everything in my life is big change right now but- is good change, yes?” There was an edge of desperation peeking out, now. “Just this one thing, can be good change. Not- losing something, gaining.”

Sid frowned. “We already said we weren’t losing each other,” he said. “Come on, Geno. You’re- you’re right, it’s a good change. It’s a good change, but it’s still change, so I just… need a little bit. I don’t have a super good track record with- dating friends.”

Now it was Zhenya’s turn to frown again. “You’re date other friends?”

“When I was in school,” Sid said, and Zhenya almost imploded with how relieved he was. He didn’t think he could handle that revelation today. “Uh- Jack, for like… two whole weeks before we realized it wasn’t gonna work out, and then a guy back in Rimouski for a little longer. It’s- I’m not the most romantic person, in the first place, and it’s- I’m not good at fully switching gears. Going from friend to boyfriend, being… super romantic, and remembering I can’t be all… bro-y? I guess.”

“Just because dating, doesn’t mean we still not friends, Sid,” Zhenya said. “Not expect you to send me flower and stuff and forget just normal friends stuff.”

Sid’s brow furrowed, like the concept wasn’t clicking. “That’s- what I’m supposed to do, though, yeah? The flowers thing. That’s a dating thing.”

“Dating not- not like… checklist, Sid,” Zhenya said, and he wasn’t sure if he was more fond or exasperated. “Flower is dating thing, yes, but doesn’t _have_ to be dating thing. Nothing you’re really _have_ to do in dating you’re not do when being friends. I’m not expect you to flip switch, turn into movie boyfriend, just spend all day text me cute things and send me gifts. Say cute things nice, and gifts _definitely_ not something you’re have to do, but… can just be same Sid as always. Same Sid is who I’m fall in love with in first place.” He could hear Sid’s breath hitch on the word ‘love’, but Sid didn’t comment on how _his_ voice hitched on it, too, so he let it go.

“I promise I’ll work up to the saying cute stuff,” Sid said. “Or… try to. I’m honestly not super romantic, anyway.”

“Is okay,” Zhenya said. “I’m most romantic, be romantic for both of us. You just be Sid.”

“And, that’s okay?” Sid asked.

“I’m tell you, Sid is who I’m like, anyway,” Zhenya said. “If I’m want movie boyfriend, I watch movie.”

“You’re too fucking good to me, G,” Sid sighed, sounding a little dreamy, and not for the first time in these little Skype sessions, Zhenya wished that technology had evolved to the point where he could reach through the screen and kiss Sid- though, maybe with the talk they just had, that’d be a little too much for the moment.

“You’re mention starting camp early this year?” he asked, and that was an easy topic to get onto; Sid loved talking about his kids, his camp, and Taylor, and Zhenya loved listening to him.

The next day, they weren’t going to get to talk until the evening, Zhenya’s time, which meant that he had to real excuse when Sasha called him up and demanded he have lunch with him. “You can’t spend all summer ignoring me this year,” he said. “You’re an old pensioner now, I know you don’t have anything better to do.”

“I have _everything_ better to do,” Zhenya huffed, resisting to stick his tongue out like a child. “And, you’re older than me.”

Sasha waved a hand dismissively. “Never mind that- how’s your family?”

They made small talk for a little while, and that was easy enough; once you started talking to Sasha, it was more than simple just to let topics keep rolling as he thought of them. Things rolled from Zhenya’s family to his, and then to their summer plans, and then- “You signed a contract extension, I heard?”

Sasha frowned for a second, seeming caught off-guard by the question. “I… for a year or two, yes,” he said. “I wanted to give it a few more shots.”

“You’ve gotta quit sometimes, Sasha,” Zhenya sighed.

“I never quit,” Sasha said. “I’m going to the KHL, after next year, probably; I want to end my career here, in Russia. It seems like the right thing to do.”

Zhenya nodded, and took a drink to keep from having to comment on that- but, Sasha seemed bound and determined to make him do it anyway. “You could’ve done that, too, you know?”

“I know,” Zhenya said. “I just… it felt like it was time to just… go.”

“Maybe,” Sasha said, and Zhenya couldn’t help but feel like there was judgement in the pause that followed. Sasha was one of those kinds of people that always thought they knew best, and liked to make you sure of it- not in a _rude_ way, in his own mind, but definitely a grating one in Zhenya’s.

“Have you talked to Crosby, since you left?”

It seemed like it was Sasha’s turn to catch Zhenya off-guard, because he nearly choked on his tea once he processed it. “Some,” he said once he’d caught his breath again. “We call each other, whenever we can. He’d doing well, starting his camp early this year.”

“He’s still got a few years left, too,” Sasha said. “I don’t know if I can stay long enough to beat him out, but-”

“You’ll be playing hockey until you can’t,” Zhenya said, snorting as he cut Sasha off. “Sid will be playing until hockey doesn’t exist. You’ll never outlive him.”

Sasha laughed. “Fair enough,” he said, and then, after another second’s pause: “I know you said you weren’t going to play in Russia, but what about _for_ Russia?”

Zhenya frowned. “In Beijing?” He hadn’t given much thought to the Olympics, really; they’d been the last thing on his mind for most of the year, while he was trying to get everything settled and boxes away in Pittsburgh. “I don’t know. If I get the call, I’ll go, but-”

“You’ll get the call,” Sasha said, sure in the way that he seemed to be sure about everything. “It’s a question of when more than if; they’ll want you to give it one last shot.”

Zhenya just hummed. _He_ wanted to give it one last shot; seeing his countrymen win in Pyeongchang had only made him hungrier for a medal himself, and, well- if he wasn’t finishing out in the KHL like everyone seemed to have wanted him to, the least he could do was give back this way. He knew it was stupid, feeling like he still had debts to pay in Russia, _to_ Russia; he’d known it was stupid since he’d left Metallurg, since they’d tried to hold loyalty and patriotism over his head like a noose to keep him from going to Pittsburgh, but that didn’t keep him from feeling it anyway. “We’ll see.”

He couldn’t have been more relieved when he was able to go home and get away from Sasha’s questions and gaze, but the sinking feeling in his stomach carried through the training he was still making himself keep up with and well on into the evening. He was glad when Sid called, and he could call it quits for the night, because he didn’t think he was going to be able to exhaust himself to the point of distraction any more than he already had without seriously hurting himself.

“You look tired,” was the first thing Sid said when the video connected, which maybe wasn’t _exactly_ what Zhenya was hoping for.

“You so sweet to me,” he said dryly, running a hand through his hair and grimacing at how fucking _gross_ he felt. He maybe should’ve showered before this. “Have reason, had to deal with Sasha this morning.”

Sid’s frown said it all. “Got it. How’s he?”

“Annoying,” Zhenya said, mostly just to make Sid laugh a little. “He’s good, always good. Say he’s stick around league for another year so he can kick your ass.”

“He can try,” Sid said, obviously biting back on another smile, mouth cocked to the side. “We’ll see how far he gets.”

“How’s your day so far?” Zhenya asked, sitting down on his couch and tucking his feet under himself, settled for the long haul. He would’ve gotten into bed, like he normally did at this point, but he was still too gross for that, he probably would’ve fallen asleep in an instant if he had.

“It was good. We’re starting the school next week, so it’s been kind of a rush, trying to get everything done and get whatever media stuff I’ve got out of the way, but- it’s good.” Sid shrugged. “I like keeping busy.”

Zhenya smiled. “Sidney Crosby is always work harder than busiest worker bee, yes, everyone’s know.”

“Fuck _you_ ,” Sid said, but he said with a laugh, and made some of the tightness in Zhenya’s stomach dissipate.

Talking to Sid, after everything today, made it so, so much easier for Zhenya to feel settled instead of rattled; it would figure, wouldn’t it, that even across half a dozen time zones and miles he couldn’t count, Sid was _still_ anchoring Zhenya like he always had. They were about an hour and half into the call when Zhenya yawned, and Sid stopped midsentence.

“You should probably get to bed, G,” Sid said, tone soft.

Zhenya shook his head. “Sorry, not tired,” he said, though the way he had to cover his mouth to stifle another yawn said otherwise.

“Bullshit,” Sid said, a little stern now, but not enough that it made Zhenya’s hackles rise. “I know it’s kinda late for you, and you’ve still got stuff to be doing tomorrow- go to sleep.”

“Can do errands and things any time, train any time,” Zhenya countered. “Only get to see you little bit every day, so, I’m want to make the most of it.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Geno,” Sid said. “You can call me when you get up in the morning.”

“Then it’s be late for _you_ , Sid,” Geno sighed. “Doesn’t work well either way; either you’re be tired, or I’m be tired- and, is already really early for me, so is fine if I’m one who’s be tired, this time.”

Sid frowned and was quiet for a few seconds. “Compromise,” he finally said. “You go take a shower and get in bed, and you can just leave me up, and I’ll just… keep talking until you fall asleep, how’s that? That way, we can still talk, but you at least are getting _some_ sleep.”

Zhenya took a few moments to consider it before he nodded. “Deal,” he said, picking up his tablet and starting towards his bedroom. “But, I’m turn camera off before I’m get in shower- not mean you’re get private show.”

Sid flushed. “I didn’t- I mean-”

“Joke,” Zhenya said, even if it was _hilarious_ to watch Sid squirm a little. “Another time, yes?”

Sid flushed impossibly brighter. “I- yeah. Yeah, that’s- if you’d ever. Want to.”

With how new everything was, and the fact that they’d just barely established that they were _dating_ , they’d barely had time to even flirt with the prospect of anything remotely adult- and, Zhenya knew that they both had such a fear of technological leaks that talking around the subject of sharing- pictures or videos or whatever it was that it would entail would be less sexy and more like negotiating a contract of sorts, which he was entirely willing to do- just. Not tonight.

“Want to,” Zhenya said, and left it at that. “I’m turn my camera off now- keep talking?”

“You know I never stop,” Sid said, and Zhenya smiled at him for another few seconds before clicking his camera off and setting about getting ready for his shower.

Hearing Sid talk about his day was more relaxing than the best massage Zhenya had ever received; he let his voice wash over him as Sid talked on about the pick-up games he was playing with Taylor, about cheering on MacKinnon through the last few rounds of playoffs, about the renovations he was thinking about starting on his house. If he closed his eyes, he could imagine that they were in the locker room with the sounds of water in the background, or just walking somewhere and it was _amazing._

He was more than half asleep already by the time he got into bed and plugged in his tablet so it wouldn’t die in the middle of the night, and he found himself drifting off to sleep not even ten minutes after. “Goodnight, Sid,” he mumbled, not even sure if Sid could hear him or not.

He must’ve, because there was a momentary dip in the conversation before Sid said, “Sweet dreams, G,” and just kept talking.

 _God_. God, Zhenya loved this man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh y'all wanted a TWIST (me actually remembering to come back and finish the part of this chapter that I had already written)! 
> 
> I finally have an idea of how I'm getting to the major points I have planned for this fic so!!! Hopefully, I can get things out a liiiiiiiitle more consistently. 
> 
> If you like the fic, consider checking out my tumblr (@sidsknees) and sending me some asks!!!! I'm always down to talk HCs, write little drabbles, scream, etc.

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't the faintest idea when the next chapter of this will come, if I'm being upfront, but, I have too much love for this idea to let it die. (And, I HATE seeing WIPs on my profile for a long time, so, count on that.) 
> 
> Hit me up on tumblr @sidsknee; I'm taking prompts, and I'm hoping to get a one shot out after every other game this year, so, I'll be needing quite a few!


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